wouldn't you like to be older and married with me?
8:35 p.m. & 2007-10-14

my best friend's eyes were tearing up as he talked about his mother in her car and when i tell him, "jason i love you" he tears up more. we drove to jess's house for a movie (wicker park).

we sat in my soulmate's tiny room, i stared at her walls and her mirror and magazines, in awe as always. her small hands grasped jason's hair and the scissors shortened it one bit at a time. relaxing, amazingly.

my phone goes off, text message of course, and my reply:

"are you coming in tonight or tomorrow?"

"tomorrow. is that okay?"

of course "yes," and he says he'll call about 9:15ish, and disappointment sets in. jason drives me home, and we talk about my hypocrisy and second chances and he always makes me feel like a good person (i hope i do the same for him).

we get into my house and sit in my floor as i straighten up and place jone's soda bottle caps (always smile) in a neater order. the friend i'm trying to talk to again came over for a while, we actually laughed a bit and then everyone left.

my sweetheart, eric, he calls as always, my lullaby to sleep each night.

"the sky looks nice tonight, you know? you remember when you told me about the moon being orange? it's like that now," he says.

my excitement takes over: "oooh! i want to go see!"

and i walk down my sidewalk and in two seconds my arms are around his neck, my lips on his, passionate and excited and happier than i've been in weeks.

needless to say, i slept better than i have lately.

you're already missed