so, a complete & total turnaround there. i decided to call him last night & we talked, i told him everything about our situation that was on my mind (because he's about the only one i can do that to without being hated as a consequence). & for once in my life i had unarguable points. he assures me i didn't push him into this, that it's really something he wants to do.
"we're really going to do this?"
i have to try.