i'm wishing right now that i had snuck out, that i had gone to the party an hour away, that i had gotten to see him. that he wouldn't be upset with me right now. that i could've kissed him when the ball drops. that i could just be on his couch with him right now, his arms around me, telling me he missed me.
i'm not understanding why he was trying so hard to get me up there, or why he was so upset that i stayed. why should it bother him at all?